Are you always feeling drained, even after a good night’s sleep? Maybe every little thing just grinds on your nerves, or your frustration level is through the roof because you can't seem to get out of this rut you’re in?
If you’re anything like me, you’ve read book after book on how to improve your circumstances and your life, yet somehow you’re still in the same spot. You’ve watched YouTube video after YouTube video on “manifesting” but your dream life hasn’t fallen into your lap yet. Then you just stop halfway through all the suggestions you’re picking up because you start feeling too overwhelmed to go any further.
You think it would take way too much time to start that business or change your lifestyle, which is time you just don’t have (read my blog on How to Find Time for a Change).
Maybe it all feels like it’s taking way more effort and energy than you have. Maybe you just feel a little lost and confused about the practical steps to take.
Either way, you end up frustrated. Left wondering why nothing’s changing, most of all your will to change.
It’s more likely that your change hasn’t happened because the actions suggested aren't specific enough. They aren’t clear and concise steps to take.
Not that it’s bad advice. It's all really good advice. It’s just very vague and you're left wondering what exact steps you could take specific action on.
If any of this rings true for you, then keep reading because I’d love to share how I stopped this madness and started living a more calm, collected, and purposeful life.
Focus on exactly what you want
The key here is to think about what you want, not what you don’t want, while you're going about your day.
I’m sure you’ve heard by now how important visualization is to your success. You can find articles about it everywhere, just like this one in Entrepreneur magazine. The widely known stories about Michael Phelps’, Jim Carrey’s and Oprah Winfrey’s successes, for example, have all included their experiences visualizing the success before it happened. And what great success they were!
There have been many good quotes on the subject as well. Some of the best ones are “where focus goes, energy flows” by Tony Robbins or “you become what you think about all day long” by Earl Nightingale, the author of “Think and Grow Rich.”
So what exactly do you want?
The best way to find out is to grab a pen and paper and start writing. You want to get as specific as you can here.
Ask yourself things like:
- What exactly do I want to change? Is it my environment? Is it my work? Or is it my way of thinking?
- How do I want to feel all the time? Less stressed, more purposeful, more free?
- Where exactly do I want to live? What’s the climate like? How big is the population?
- Do I even want to live in a house? Maybe a condo? Or maybe a boat? 😉
Once you start writing these down on paper or in a journal, things will begin to get crystal clear for you.
You can even start writing about more things like what kind of jobs you’ve enjoyed in the past, what kind of job you want now and how much money you’d like to make at that job. You can also write about who you want to share more time with and what type of new friends you’d like to find.
The more I wrote in my journal on this subject, the better I got to know myself. I learned what it was I really liked to do, as a job and a hobby. I found out what change I really wanted in my life, rather than what the world around me was suggesting for me.
Also, the more I did this first thing in the day or right before bed, the more I thought about the things I did want in my life rather than what I didn’t want.
Then achieving all of these things began to feel more realistic, like it was definitely something I could handle getting done.
This made all the difference in helping me move toward those goals, taking good actions on those dreams, and directing the change I wanted to happen in my own life.
Figure out Your Why
Again, you want to start writing down some ideas in your journal. Expand on what it is you want.
What do you see as your ideal experience? What would you be doing on your ideal day? How would you feel once you got what you wanted?
When I was doing this, I kept dreaming of sailing.
Nothing put a bigger smile on my face than being on a sailboat out on the water. The smell of the saltwater, the feel of the wind on my face, the silent movement of the boat being carried by nothing but mother nature. This was my dream.
After focusing on this, I came to find out it wasn’t the sailing so to speak that I was after but more the feeling sailing gave me. That’s when I discovered my true why.
I wanted to be FREE!!
That’s what sailing felt like, absolute freedom. I wanted to have that, I wanted to be as free as I could be. That meant financial freedom, time freedom, and personal freedom.
It was at a time in my life when I was working a full-time job but was also trying to grow my side gig into my only source of income. The stress of a career that had plateaued, the lack of time to spend on my own business, and our financial debt was wearing on me.
It’s amazing what stress can do to you. I was experiencing most of the symptoms listed in this article by Mayo Clinic.
My behavior, mental health, and physical health were not the best and I knew it could be better.
Getting financial freedom meant no more ties to others, banks, and otherwise. Getting time freedom meant having more time to spend on growing my side gig into a full-blown business.
After clearly defining my why's, the choices that came to me in order to make this happen were surprising. One was to sell the house and the other was to bootstrap my business. So that is what I did.
My last why, achieving personal freedom, meant improving my mental well-being. That took a lot more work but eventually, the release of self-doubt happened and so did the growth of confidence like I’ve never felt before now.
Bye-bye stress, hello peace and ease!
It all happened because when it came down to making choices, I knew which ones to choose that fit within the reason I wanted them.
Knowing exactly what you’re after and why helps you make better choices when you come to a fork in the road (rather than just taking it, lol).
It helps you get past obstacles and grow your faith in yourself and your actions.
It boosts you up to achieve small goals and the more you achieve the more you know you can improve your life, get unstuck, and create that dream!
Discover How to Make it Possible
After you know the what and the why, the next step is to hone in on how to make it happen.
What exactly will you do?
It will have to be something you like to do regularly so you can stay with it through the long haul.
If it’s a healthier lifestyle change you want, what kind of exercise could you do every day? Do you like running, or would walking better suit you? Do you like strength exercises or would yoga be more your style?
If you want to become your own boss, then what type of work do you see yourself being happy with daily?
Do you like being hands-on or would you rather have a more passive income? Are you into making videos or writing? Maybe you would prefer having 1:1s with people.
If you don’t have a clue what kind of work you want to do, look for what comes easily to you. What comes naturally.
Some great ways to find this out is to write down what people come to you for over and over again? You can even take some free career aptitude tests that could direct you to what type of business you want to start. For more information on what’s types of businesses are available to you, learn from the source I used for my own business by clicking here.
The idea here is if you choose to do something that you don’t enjoy, you’ll get bored with it over time or it will cause more stress in your life, then you’ll end up back where you began.
This takes some personal leadership and accountability though. Once you choose what it is you think you could handle doing every day, you will have to do it…every day. But don’t worry, if it’s something that comes naturally to you, it won’t feel like work.
The bottom line here is START YOUR JOURNAL.
Write in it every day.
You can add it to your morning routine or do it right before bed.
If you think you don’t have the time, start with replacing 10 min’s of TV watching every day or you can read my blog on How to Find Time for a Change for other ideas.
Do this for a little while to get into the habit of it. It could take you 30 days or 12 weeks and that's OK.
Take your time, explore yourself and see what comes alive for you.
If you do this to figure out what you want, why you want it, and how to make it possible you’ll be on your way in no time!
Many Blessings ~